Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
