i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
