They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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