If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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