I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
