she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize