I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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