she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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