I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
