Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
