I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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