No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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