K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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