Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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