Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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