I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
