tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
