Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
