I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
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I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
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