i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.