Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
There are leaves in my underwear?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
