I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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