It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
