I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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