if only i could text you this smell
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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