hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
