I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
That's when you crack a 10am beer
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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