Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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