You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize