we have officially lost it.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
