Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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