She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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