How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
