grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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