I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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