He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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