hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
