Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
