Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize