hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
