STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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