You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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