So drunk its hurt
"it" just moved
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
