it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
