When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
