Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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