we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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