please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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