Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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