Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I am one with the molecules
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
