Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize