ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
