Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I don't deserve a penis
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
