considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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