..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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