I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
