Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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