Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
