And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
