quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
