i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize