you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
