So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize