She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
