Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We had to coat check the pizza.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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