Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
